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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27321004">A Broken Promise (And Nothing We Can Do About It)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALTsvtsector123/pseuds/ALTsvtsector123'>ALTsvtsector123</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ENHYPEN (Band), I-LAND (Korea TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, I Don't Even Know, I'm Sorry, I-LAND friendship, I-Land Finale, a small bit of other I-Landers, i miss JayK</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:49:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,077</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27321004</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALTsvtsector123/pseuds/ALTsvtsector123</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What I imagined after the I-Land finale shooting stopped — Jay and K's conversation.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>K &amp; Park Jongseong | Jay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Broken Promise (And Nothing We Can Do About It)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I don't even know why I'm writing this only now.<br/>To be honest, I moved on from K's elimination quite early, but... When the results first came, my heart was crushed. I was really hoping for OT9 debut, but it didn't happen. And the thought of Jay and K's promise being broken, of those two NOT debuting together made me feel like crying. I think that the only reason I managed to get over it was because Jay, my bias, made it to the team. But really, I miss JayK. K was such a great hyung to Jay and Jay was a great dongsaeng to K too... I really miss seeing their friendship.<br/>So yeah, it might be weird dropping this after more than a month passed since I-land, but... Here it is.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jay was numb.</p><p>He didn’t know what he should feel. </p><p>Should he be happy that he made it? Yes. Should he be sad that the others hadn’t made it? Of course. But he couldn’t feel anything.</p><p>He was numb.</p><p>It was then that he felt the presence of a familiar someone sitting beside him on the couch, a familiar voice calling his name softly.</p><p>And then it was all out — his feelings, his sadness and joy, his tears.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>K didn’t know what to do.</p><p>As the I-Landers’ final ranks were spoken one by one, member after member, K didn’t know why, but he felt hopeless. He had an inkling that he wouldn’t make it. So, when the narrator announced Sunoo’s name as the last member of the debut team, K wasn’t all that surprised.</p><p>But that didn’t mean he wasn’t sad and disappointed in himself.</p><p>Was he not good enough?</p><p>The producers’ comments passed through one ear and out of the other. It all went by like a blur.</p><p>He found himself still smiling as they took one last picture of all 22 of them, the original applicants of I-Land, with the absence of Yoonwon. He found himself still laughing despite Seon and Hanbin’s worried gazes at him. He found his cheek muscles aching. He felt like crying. Not because of the results, mind you, but because of the pain in his cheeks.</p><p>Yet, he didn’t want to let his failure bring him down. He couldn’t. If he did, he knew that he would dwell too much on it and lock himself indoors for weeks. And he couldn’t afford that to happen.</p><p>“K-hyung,” Hanbin said softly, a red-eyed Ni-ki behind him, along with Taki. “Do you want to… Let it out?”</p><p>K let out a laugh, which sadly sounded more like a croak now. An ugly croak. His throat was dry from the singing (and the forced laughing) he had done.</p><p>He had given his all for his last few performances. They all did. So why didn’t he and Daniel make it while the other 7 of them did?<br/>Almost immediately, he shook that thought out of his mind. Thinking that way, envying the others who made it to the debut team, that would be terrible of him. </p><p>No, actually, he could envy them — it was his dream too, after all, to debut — but what he should not do was become jealous of them.</p><p>“I’m fine,” K replied once he noticed that he had left Hanbin and the rest of the Japan line without an answer.</p><p>“As if,” Ni-ki mumbled, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. He was nudged gently by Taki. Taki looked at K with a small smile. “Just know that we’re here for you if you ever want to talk, K-hyung.” Hanbin nodded, agreeing with the boy. “Get some rest if you need to, okay?”</p><p>K nodded. “I will, don’t worry.” He proceeded to chase them away. “They’re preparing a party, aren’t they? Why don’t you go without me first?”</p><p>“But—” Ni-ki stopped speaking when he caught Taki shaking his head subtly at him. He gulped down the rest of his words. <em> I’m sorry </em>, he had wanted to say. However, he knew the elder would just feel worse if he ever apologised for making it. K was just like that.</p><p>“Get some rest, K-hyung,” Hanbin reminded. K gave him a grateful smile. “I will.”</p><p>And then, they were gone. K was left alone in the corridor. Sighing, he slowly walked into their fitting room, the one that all 23 of them had shared before. </p><p>He had expected to have some quiet time alone. He had expected the others to have left for the party already. He had expected to be able to cry out in agony and pure disappointment for not being able to debut once he was the only one in the room.</p><p>What he did not expect, at all, was to see a quiet, dazed Jay sitting on the couch, staring listlessly at nothing.</p><p>K knew the younger. Truthfully, he had been slightly intimidated by Jay when he first saw him. However, quickly enough, as time passed and they spent more and more time together, he couldn’t have been more mistaken with his first impression of the boy.</p><p>At first glance, he had thought that maybe, just slightly, Jay was selfish. But Jay was the most selfless being he knew. He had thought that Jay was arrogant and prideful. Yet, no one could be humbler than him. Yes, Jay had his pride, but he knew when to put it down. Lastly, he had thought that… Jay was manly and cool. The younger boy was as cute as a puppy. Not to mention, he was scared of ghosts.</p><p>So, K knew the younger. He knew what Jay was like, and he knew that Jay liked to daydream. <em> A lot. </em> More than anyone could imagine.</p><p>But this wasn’t it.</p><p>There was a different air to the younger. This wasn’t a Jay who was just daydreaming. Don’t ask how and why K knew that. He just did.</p><p>“Jay?” he softly whispered. He didn’t know why he was whispering. No one else was inside the room, it should have been okay for him to speak normally. Yet, he was whispering.</p><p>Jay didn’t move an inch, his eyes still focused on the blank space around him. He hadn’t heard K’s call.</p><p>K hurried, though he tried to walk as slowly as he could, and he sat beside the boy. “Jay-ah.”</p><p>This time, Jay heard him, turning to face him quickly.</p><p>K got the shock of his life when tears suddenly flowed down Jay’s cheeks.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Jay knew he cried easily. But <em> oh my God </em>, he was being so uncool right now.</p><p>Hearing K’s voice just made the dam that was holding back his emotions burst. </p><p>He felt streams of tears flowing down his cheeks, and he knew that he was crying like a huge baby. Even their maknae Daniel hadn’t cried this much when he didn’t make it. D*mn, he held a newfound respect for the younger now. Jay would miss Daniel, his fellow Korean-American who was most likely better at English than he was, but now, all he could focus on was the disgusting snot dripping down his nose and the man in front of him. <em> K-hyung. </em></p><p>K hadn’t made it.</p><p>The talented elder brother of I-Land hadn’t made it. He wasn’t going to debut with them.</p><p>It was ironic, honestly, that the second most talented person they looked up to in I-Land wasn’t part of the debut team.</p><p><em> 2nd… </em> That had been Jay’s rank. And even though Jay was so, very, really grateful for the ones who made his dream possible, AKA his fans, his BlueJays, he wondered if he would ever live up to them. He wondered if he really deserved to take that spot when there was K.</p><p>Jay suddenly felt a familiar hand caressing his hair, patting his head. He faced a smiling K.</p><p>“Jay-ah, don’t cry.”</p><p>Jay’s heart plummeted. Oh God, his hyung was forcing himself to smile. He immediately wiped away his tears with his sleeve and took a tissue from the table, blowing his nose. Quickly, he stood up, threw away the tissue, used hand sanitizer and went back to where K was, immediately hugging the elder as he sat back down on the couch.</p><p>“K-hyung,” Jay murmured, placing his chin on K’s shoulder. It reminded him of the time when they hugged after K had chosen to replace him with Sunghoon during the Dance Rep test. Of course, he had been sad that he wasn’t able to perform on stage with his hyung and he was disappointed that he didn’t get the chance to show his skills. However, he couldn’t blame his hyung. K had done that for the I-Landers, and they had come back with victory. It had been the best choice for them to swap him out.</p><p>So why was he back in, and in the debut team, rather than K?</p><p>Jay felt K’s large palms patting his back gently.</p><p>“You’re being pessimistic,” K said quietly. </p><p>Jay stiffened in his arms. “I’m not,” the 2002-liner muttered.</p><p>K laughed softly. “You are.” He added, “I would know. Your aura’s the same as the time when you were ranked 11th. You know, when your energy’s brought down a notch.”</p><p>K carefully pushed the younger away. His fingers swept across Jay’s hair, brushing it away from his eyes, so that he could get a better look at Jay’s face.</p><p>As always, the boy was pretty handsome. However, the area above his eyes were red and his eyes were puffy. Not only that, but his makeup was smeared too.</p><p>An involuntary chuckle left K’s lips. “You look like a ghost, Jay.” </p><p>Jay rolled his eyes, swatting K’s hands away playfully. “No, I don’t, K-hyung.” He burrowed his face back into K’s shoulder, clinging to the elder once again.</p><p>K’s face held a helpless smile. “What’s wrong, Jay-ah? You made it, you’re supposed to cry tears of joy, not tears of sadness.”</p><p>“Shut up, I’m not sad, hyung.” Jay grasped the back of K’s shirt. “... How do you expect me to be happy when you and Daniel were so close to debuting but didn’t make it?”</p><p>“You were very happy when you led the final bow and greeting,” K reminded him, a small smile on his face.</p><p>Jay protested, “That was because everything was still so surreal. The only thing I had been thinking of was that I really made it. But when I came back here, it really dawned on me that you and Daniel were deprived of the chance to debut with us. Furthermore, our promise to debut together is broken. How could I still be so happy after realising that?”</p><p>K blinked. Jay’s choice of words was really as amazing as ever.</p><p>“Why couldn’t they just debut all 9 of us?” Jay’s voice ended as a mere whisper.</p><p>At that, K’s smile saddened. He knew why. Bang PD had told him the reason just a few minutes ago. He had had some controversy that would have brought damage to the reputation of the undebuted group, along with damage and hate to himself. That was why… That was why he couldn’t possibly debut with them. He didn’t want to be the cause of hate for the group either.</p><p>“It’s not like we can’t meet each other anymore, Jay,” K said.</p><p>“That’s not my problem,” Jay muttered. He let go of K, eyes staring straight at his hyung. “My problem is that we’ve broken our promise.” He clenched his fists tightly, his fingers digging deep into his palms. </p><p>“I was so sure you’d make it.” That was why he had been ready to give everything up for the team when he ranked 11th. That was why he wrote the letters and said those things in his video letter to K. Who knew that in the end, Jay would have made it while K hadn’t?</p><p>“Me too,” K said softly. He had thought that if the viewers wouldn’t acknowledge him, then he’d have the producers to back him up, but the results had been unpredictable. In addition to his own problems, he had been competing with Sunoo, who had an innate talent on stage, and Daniel, their talented precious maknae. K had known that the possibility of the producers choosing him was lower than ever. And he was right. They hadn’t chosen him.</p><p>Jay’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.</p><p>“Then show it.”</p><p>K looked at the boy, confused. “Show… It?” Show what?</p><p>Jay furrowed his eyebrows. “Show your disappointment, show that you’re angry for not having made it. Just let out whatever you’re feeling, hyung.”</p><p>K tried a smile. “What do you mean, Jay? I’m fine.”</p><p>Jay bit his lower lip, frowning. “You just said that you thought you’d debut—” K wanted to correct the younger by saying that he had just been agreeing with what Jay had said, but he chose not to because the boy was right. He really had been confident that he would make it. “—but you didn’t make it. So, don’t you dare say you’re fine.”</p><p>K sighed. He felt his sadness bubble up inside his heart. A lone tear slipped down his face.</p><p>“Okay, I’m not fine.” He wiped his tear away, facing Jay, who was looking at him worriedly. “I’m not fine, I really wanted to debut,” he confessed. “But I’m happy that you made it, Jay. I’m glad for you, Jungwon, Jake, Ni-ki, Heeseung, Sunghoon and Sunoo.” He continued, “And in regards to the promise we made… We can’t do anything about it now, can we?” He flashed a smile. “Some promises are just meant to be broken, I guess.”</p><p>“But why ours?” Jay asked. Yet, he knew the answer. It was just like that. It just happened that he and K weren’t going to be able to debut together, and it just happened that their promise was broken because of that. He hated it.</p><p>A moment of silence passed before K spoke again.</p><p>“Come on, Jay-ah, don’t be sad anymore, hmm?” He slung his arm over Jay’s shoulders, pulling Jay closer to him. “You deserve to be there, so smile.”</p><p>Jay huffed. He rested his head on his hyung’s shoulder, closing his eyes momentarily. “I’m not sad,” he said once again. He opened his eyes. “I’m just… I wanted to debut with you, K-hyung.”</p><p>“Me too, Jay.” Really.</p><p>But it just wasn’t meant to be.</p><p> </p><p>“Feeling better now?” K whispered.</p><p>Jay gave his hyung a smile. At the very least, hopefully, his happiness would be enough for the both of them. “Yeah, I guess so. Thank you, hyung. You know, I’ll really miss you.”</p><p>K laughed. “We’ll still be able to see each other.”</p><p>“That’s not it,” Jay argued. “I’ll miss practicing with you and all that, you know?”</p><p>“I’ll miss practicing with you too, Jay-ah,” K said, a genuine smile blooming on his face. “You’ve made practice lots of fun for me.”</p><p>Jay grinned. “I do my best.”</p><p>The two exchanged smiles. K ruffled Jay’s hair, hoping that it wouldn’t be the last time he could do this. “Then, the congratulations party is probably starting right now. Let’s go.”</p><p>“Congratulations party?” Jay furrowed his eyebrows. “They’re holding one?”</p><p>K stood up, chuckling. “You weren’t listening, Jay?”</p><p>The Korean-American stuck out his tongue, rubbing the back of his nape sheepishly. “Oops, guess I wasn’t.”</p><p>K shook his head. The corners of his lips turned upwards. “Well, now you know. Come one, let’s go.”</p><p>However, before K could take a step, his sleeve was tugged by Jay. The boy gave him a smile. “I just wanted to say thank you for everything, hyung.”</p><p>K raised an eyebrow.</p><p>Jay firmly gripped on K’s sleeve, but his eyes were focused on the floor. He was about to spout some ridiculous, cringy stuff.</p><p>“You’ve helped me a lot, hyung. I learnt a lot from you — dancing and performing as a whole, especially. You’re a really great and talented guy, hyung, so please—” Oh God, his voice cracked. “Please don’t stop fighting for your dreams. You’ll debut soon, I know it,” he ended with a mumble.</p><p>He didn’t dare to look up because he knew that he was going to cry again. He was already starting to tear up.</p><p>Jay felt a pat on his head, then a vigorous ruffle, which forced him to cover his head. “Wha—” His words died out when he saw the wide smile on K’s face. “K-hyung, I’m being serious here.”</p><p>K’s grin stretched wider. “I know, Jay-ah. You don’t have to get all sentimental on me, I have your letter for that.” His eyes twinkled. “And besides, I won’t ever stop until my goal is reached. I’m not a quitter.”</p><p>“... That’s true,” Jay agreed. His tears were gone.</p><p>After ruffling Jay’s hair one last time, K retracted his hand. “I promise, I won’t give up until I debut, Jay-ah.”</p><p>Jay stood up. “Okay. I’ll trust you with that, hyung.” He could only hope that their promise this time would be kept.</p><p> </p><p>The duo opened the door, only to find out that 7 other people were waiting outside, ears close to the door. Heeseung, Jake, Sunghoon, Jungwon, Sunoo, Ni-ki and Daniel. They immediately straightened their backs, trying to act as normally as possible. Keyword: <em> trying </em>. Jake just had to whistle, his eyes roaming the ceiling, as if that was an inconspicuous act.</p><p>Jay sighed, facepalming. “Were you guys really eavesdropping on us?” He groaned.</p><p>Daniel raised up his hands, looking at his hyung innocently. “Yes,” he said, a serious expression on his face, Jungwon stifling a giggle beside him. As if he just heard what he said, Daniel shook his head frantically. “I mean, no! I… Uhhh… A bit? But we didn’t hear much, I swear!”</p><p>“Yeah,” Sunghoon spoke up. “We just came here, looking for the two of you.”</p><p>“And you didn’t bother opening the door?” K questioned.</p><p>“Well, we heard some voices,” Heeseung said. “And your conversation sounded serious, so we didn’t want to disturb you just yet.” </p><p>Sunoo nodded vigorously, smiling. “Yeah! We totally had no idea what you two were talking about.”</p><p>Jay scoffed. However, seeing their frantic tries to cover up what they had done, he decided to let it slide. “Let’s just go to the party then,” he sighed out.</p><p>The other 7 people seemed to have relieved expressions on their faces.</p><p> </p><p>As they started walking to where the party was going to be held, Jay felt a tug on his shirt. It was Heeseung.</p><p>“You’re fine now, Jay?” Heeseung knew how close K and Jay had been. He had Jungwon, Sunghoon had Jake and Sunoo had Ni-ki. Yes, Jay had all of them, but despite that… Jay was losing K.</p><p>Jay’s eyes widened. He must have not hid his feelings so well, huh? He patted Heeseung’s back, smiling. “I’m fine, Heeseung-hyung.” He looked at K’s back. The older was speaking with Ni-ki.</p><p>“I’m fine.” And he was.</p><p> </p><p>His hyung had promised that he would debut. Jay would only have to hold him up to that.</p><p>Some time later, one day, he was sure that they would perform on stage again. Together. All 9 of them, including Daniel. Maybe with the other I-Land trainees too.</p><p>Jay would wait patiently for that day to come.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And that's it! It's not so great, but yeah.</p><p>I'm really hoping for K to debut soon, maybe with the other I-Landers, because I feel that the I-Land trainees really have lots of potential. I want to see them perform on the stage soon, all of them with ENHYPEN, maybe a collab like that? It would be nice, though it most likely won't happen. I just hope that the boys won't stop running for their dreams, unless they no longer want to pursue the path.</p><p>Anyways, hope you had a great time reading this! Have a nice day😊</p><p>P.S. It's 1 November, the start of a new month already. I CAN'T WAIT FOR 30 NOVEMBER, ENHYPEN'S DEBUT!😆</p></blockquote></div></div>
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